The Art of Missing Out: Why Being 'Behind' Might Be Your Biggest Advantage
Everyone is rushing. Friends are flying abroad, startups are launching, and you feel stuck. Here is why taking your time, spotting the hidden doors, and sometimes doing absolutely nothing is the secret to winning.
Shrijal Paudel
@shrijalpaudel
Imagine you are at Ratna Park. It is 5:00 PM. The office crowd is out and it is chaotic. You see a microbus coming. It looks packed. People are pushing and shoving to get in. You have two choices: push your way in and get crushed, or wait for the next one.
Most of us are terrified of waiting. We think if we miss this bus, we miss everything. But what if I told you that missing the bus, or being "late" to the party, is actually where the magic happens?
The Reality Check
We live in a world of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). But today, let’s talk about JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out). We are going to explore how spotting the right opportunity is better than catching the first opportunity.
The Ghost of Opportunity Cost
In Economics, and in life, there is a concept called Opportunity Cost. It sounds fancy, but it is actually very simple.
It simply means: When you say "Yes" to one thing, you are automatically saying "No" to something else.
Example A: The Party
You choose to go to a friend's party on Friday night. It is fun.
The Cost: You gave up a good night's sleep and a fresh Saturday morning where you could have learned a new skill or gone for a hike.
Example B: The Career Rush
You take a job you hate just because it pays well immediately.
The Cost: You gave up the time to study for a career you actually love, which might pay 5x more in the future.
We often rush to grab the first opportunity because we are scared. We see our friends getting jobs, buying bikes, or posting photos from Sydney or New York. We panic. We think, "I need to move now!" But usually, rushing leads to a crowded bus where you can't even breathe.
Spotting the Hidden Doors
Most people look for opportunities with their eyes. But the best opportunities are seen with your mind. While everyone is looking at the obvious door (the one with the "Exit" sign), there is often a window open somewhere else.
Let's take a relatable example. Think about the tea shops (chiya pasals) in Kathmandu. There is one on every corner. If you want to start a business, the obvious choice is to open another tea shop. But that is what everyone is doing.
The Real Opportunity? Maybe the opportunity isn't selling tea. Maybe it is selling the cups to the tea shops. Or maybe it is creating an app to rate the best chiya in town. Opportunities are often hiding in the problems that people complain about.
"To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's."
Dostoevsky is telling us something important here. It is better to fail at your own unique idea than to succeed at copying someone else. Why? Because when you copy, you are replaceable. When you are yourself, you are unique.
The Superpower of Being "Behind"
This is the part that might sound crazy. Being "behind" in life, like taking a gap year, being unemployed for a few months to think, or learning slowly, can actually be a blessing.
Think of an arrow. To shoot an arrow forward with great speed, what do you have to do? You have to pull it back.
If you feel like life is pulling you back right now while your friends are moving forward, maybe life is just loading you into the bow. You aren't losing. You are gathering potential energy.
The Illusion of Speed
In a 100-meter race, speed matters. But life is a marathon. The guy sprinting at the start often collapses halfway. The one who walks, observes, and breathes often finishes strongest.
Clarity comes from Stillness
You cannot see your reflection in boiling water. You can only see it in still water. If you are constantly running, hustling, and grinding, you never stop to see if you are running in the wrong direction.
"You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet."
Kafka was a bit intense, but he was right. Sometimes, the best move is to sit still and observe. While everyone else is fighting for scraps, you can watch the market, watch people's behavior, and spot the big opportunity that everyone missed because they were too busy running.
How to Stand Out (When Everyone Looks the Same)
Look at LinkedIn or Instagram. Everyone looks the same. Everyone is a "Strategic Thinker" or a "Traveler." If you want to win, you have to break the pattern.
Here is a cheat sheet on how to stand out in Nepal, or anywhere else:
1
Be Honest About Failure
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2
Combine Two Boring Skills
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3
Do The "Uncool" Work
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The Golden Cage Dilemma
Before you go, I want to leave you with a story. It is something I think about often when I feel like I am falling behind.
Imagine two friends, Ram and Shyam.
Ram follows the map perfectly. He listens to his relatives. He studies the "safe" subject. He flies to the "right" country. He gets a high-paying job in a glass building. He runs fast. He never stops to look at the flowers because looking at flowers does not pay the bills.
Shyam throws the map away. He walks slowly. He stops to talk to the shopkeeper. He learns to play the flute. He has less money. He wears simple clothes.
Ten years later, Ram is at the top of the mountain. He has the view. He has the status. But he is standing there alone, checking his emails, and his knees hurt from running so fast. He is at the peak, but he is exhausted.
Shyam is only halfway up. He might never reach the top. But he is sitting by a warm fire, sharing food with strangers, laughing until his stomach hurts. He feels the wind.
Now, here is the dilemma. This is the question that might keep you awake tonight.
Which life do you actually want?
Society screams that Ram is the winner. He has the trophy. He has the "Success."
But if I gave you a button right now , a magic button that would give you all of Ram's money and status, but you had to give up all the small, quiet moments of joy that Shyam has... would you press it?
It is a hard choice. Because choosing the fire means people might call you "lazy" or "unambitious." Choosing the mountain peak means you might get there and realize you forgot to actually live along the way.
There is no right answer. Both paths are valid. But please, make sure the mountain you are climbing is the one you want to climb, not just the one everyone else is pointing at.
Conclusion: Start Where You Are
It doesn't matter if you are 15, 25, or 45. It doesn't matter if you feel like you wasted the last few years. The game isn't over. You were just taking a long run-up.
"It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live."
Your life begins the moment you stop competing with others and start recognizing the unique opportunities right in front of your nose.
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